As most of you already know, last year was a rollercoaster for us as we tried to grow our family.
I shared in September the news that we’d lost our second pregnancy and in November, that the loss had been determined a partial-molar pregnancy, putting us on hold for a minimum of three months. After a third loss in January, we decided to see a specialist to determine if there was a genetic or other underlying cause for these repeat losses.
Somewhere in the neighborhood of a million tests later, we found … nothing.
Finding nothing wrong gave us no answers, but it did give us the go ahead to continue trying on our own and, in March, we discovered we were expecting the son who’s been growing inside of me for the past 34 weeks.
This November, almost a year to the day of our first estimated due date, we’ll get to meet him.
We’ll get to meet the child who has softened the grief we’d felt so sharply all last year.
But today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day for all families to remember their children gone too soon, either through miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, still birth or as an infant. It’s something that affects so many families, and yet very few people speak about it openly.
Since first sharing with you about our losses, dozens of friends and family have opened up to me about their stories, too. People have reached out with condolences, questions and sympathies, and even gratitude for starting the conversation – proving that pregnancy loss is something that happens to so many, while so few feel comfortable talking about it.
That’s why today is so important.
While all of October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, this day in particular is set aside for remembering those we’ve lost. At 7 p.m., families around the world will light candles in their memory, keeping them lit for an hour to create a Wave of Light around the globe.
Once again, Darrell and I will be one of those families, remembering ours as well as those of our friends and family.
For us, the passage of time and the impending arrival of our son have made this year much less melancholy.
For others, the grief is still very real.
Let today remind us that we don’t have to suffer that grief alone.